As a typical male I used to react typically
to criticism. Being criticized or accused used to make me very angry, and being
corrected felt humiliating to me. Initially I used to be very angry, though
used to try to fight with humor and fun, but ultimately resorted to humiliating
or attacking the other with logical or illogical arguments to save some of my
male pride. But as I started to grow old I understood the need of criticism and
most of which were or are constructive ones.
I started to accept criticism truly. It is
not that I was just lending my ears and preparing for some smart-ass answers,
but I started to understand and listen. I tried to put myself in their shoes
and understand the other person’s point of view. This I could do as I was
growing older and I was criticizing others for some of their faults. This made me
realize that I also must have been at fault that was oblivious to me.
Another thing that changed with me growing
older was that I started to understand that the person criticizing me was in
fact helping me. Instead of putting me in soup, the person was actually helping
me to learn and unlearn a lot of things. This is actually to help me avoid in
soup later on.
Another thing that I have learnt from my graying
years is that since I cannot please everybody, it is useless to react to
negative comments or criticism from strangers. I read or hear their criticism
and actually discuss that with someone who is truly a well wisher. I actually
value criticism, comments from people who are close to me, who matter to me,
whom I respect, and above all from people to whom I matter.
Another method that my father and teachers
used to teach me is count ten or hundred, maybe in a reverse order when you
feel that you are getting angry, but during those young years I used to count
very fast and there you go!!! With age and reading some really good biographies
I have come to understand that at times not reacting or taking no action
results in the best action. The other one starts remaining in a perennial fear
of the retort.
Another thing I have learnt walking the
path of life is to be humble. To admit mistake doesn’t make you a fool, on the
contrary it makes you a better man. It also makes you respectable in others
eyes also. It is fine to be mistaken, and there is no shame in admitting it. But
trying to arrogantly hide a mistake or establish it as correct is shameful.
I have now come to understand the proverb “failures
are the pillars of success”. I am not afraid of failures, as they teach me a
lot of lessons. It is rightly said that “a defeat teaches you a lot of things,
which a win cannot”.
Criticism is for your improvement, trying
to understand that and taking it in your stride always helps you in every way
of betterment. People who criticize cares and expects, that’s why they do it. They
want you to deliver the best and nothing but the best, and this in some way
helps you to learn things, and become better next time and every possible time.
It is a necessary poison, and if taken wisely can be a wonderful medicine.
